Pandemic State-of-Mind

Never in a million years did I ever think I would be witnessing something like this in the world. I recall reading about deadly plagues within history books. I thought what a horrendous time it must have been for everyone to go through. Fast forward to 2020, the world is on lock-down.

As I sit in bed, looking out my window, it still feels surreal. It feels like so long ago I’ve had any type of human interaction which required being in the same space with someone. My memories reflect back to Galentines. My friend’s and I are exchanging gifts, eating delicious food, drinking wine, and having good conversation. Little did we all know that would be the last time we would be together…at least for a while.

Everything since has been a blur. I have moments of random memories flooding my mind and how I long to go back to those times. A little overly dramatic I suppose, but it’s definitely one that will go in the books.

Everything happened so quickly and it’s crazy to think how much our lives have turned upside down. I’m pretty sure we all kept putting off things such as tasks, responsibilities, and hangouts. We think there is always time.

The two most powerful warriors are patience and time.

I’m lucky in many ways because I have a roof over my head, have a job, food, internet, and a bed. However, what about those who don’t? There are people in the world who have lost loved ones, are working 24/7 to help save lives and don’t have the resources that we do.

I try to think of these details so I don’t complain when I feel restless, despite that I’m no different than a zoo animal locked in a cage. Such a terrible image and a realization to know that we have hurt the world in so many ways. We’re destroyers and always have been.

Sometimes I get frustrated, especially when I think about the lack of movement my body does on a daily basis. I no longer want to watch Netflix, but yet, I don’t have the mindset nor the focus to read a chapter in a book (I am trying though). I can hardly feel the days and weekends no longer feel like days I used to look forward to.

However, I have to remind myself this too shall pass. It won’t last forever and I can only try to make sure I keep myself safe as well as those around me. I look forward to the days of getting in my car and driving somewhere. There are a lot of things I miss such as hiking, watching all of the different lives walk through the streets while sipping on tea, and above all, I miss myself.

Two things define us. Our patience when we have nothing and our attitude when we have everything.

This is a time to reflect. To reflect who we are, who we want to be and what we want out of life. A time to learn and change things that no longer serve any purpose to our well being.

Once all of this is over, I have no idea how things will be. Whether a part of me will remain the same or different. I also don’t know what about myself or my life I will be changing.

What I do know is, I will enjoy, capture, and cherish every moment I have with people I care about. I will anticipate our next hangouts together while we laugh about the silliest things. I will also remember to be kinder to myself and that I don’t need nor should I change myself for anyone.

What thoughts have come across your mind during these difficult times? What will you be changing in your life post-pandemic? Stay safe and healthy my friends.

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Books I’ve Read

Erika's Library

Becoming
Mosaic
The Tattooist of Auschwitz
The Stolen Marriage
See Me
The Trap
The Girl in the Spider's Web
The Silkworm
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
The Longest Ride
Eclipse
The Body Book: The Law of Hunger, the Science of Strength, and Other Ways to Love Your Amazing Body
Breaking Dawn
The Lucky One
The Cuckoo's Calling
New Moon
The Best of Me
Dear John
The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest
The Last Song


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