It’s another March evening as I am writing this post. I can still hear the rain falling non-stop. What happened to the beautiful, sunshine we had experienced earlier in the day?
I was laying in bed with a book in my hand, but felt restless. I felt bothered and couldn’t focus on the pages I was flipping over. The words were becoming a blur as if they were smeared from the raindrops outside.
Does it ever happen, when you try so hard to relax, yet your mind feels flooded with thoughts that won’t let you rest completely? Tonight is one of those nights and I knew I needed to write. So here I am, writing this post on this late night when I should be winding down for bed.
Not too long ago, I watched the latest film, Little Women. I absolutely enjoyed it. For whatever reason, I resonated so well with Saoirse Ronan’s character, Jo March. Her character is strong willed, values her independence & freedom, is determined to pursue her passion, and doesn’t shy away to make her voice heard. She does everything in her power for the people she loves even if it means sacrificing her own happiness.
There was a scene in the film where she questions whether she turned down Laurie’s proposal of marriage too soon. In the film she quotes, “You know, I just feel like, women, they have minds, and they have souls, as well as just hearts. And they’ve got ambition, and they’ve got talent, as well as just beauty. And I’m so sick of people saying that love is just all a woman is fit for. I’m so sick of it! But I’m so lonely!” If you haven’t seen the 2019 film, I can honestly say that Jo March was my favorite character of all. This was by far, one that stood out to me the most.
It triggered a button. A button that may have been hidden for quite some time, or it was present all a while. It just needed someone else to say the exact words I have always been thinking. We, as women, cannot fit into a box.
We constantly have society setting depicting what women should be doing with their lives. The constant pressure of setting the bar up high when maybe we just want to hang low for a while. Yes, women have minds; yes, woman have souls; yes, women have hearts….but they too have ambition, talent and beauty.
You know what else women can be? Lonely. We’re hybrids of our own mortal selves. We want to dream and accomplish our goals, that it’s so easy for us to feel lonely throughout the journey. Is that a bad thing? I don’t think so.
There are women who want to have it all. Women want to be independent, want to be free and be the master of their own sail. Yet, some want to be loved and maybe have a family of their own. There are others who want nothing to do with children or marriage, but that doesn’t make it any less acceptable. Different minds, different dreams.
Why are we so hard on women who try to achieve it all and also hard on other women who want something different? More and more I’ve been seeing and witnessing women get ridiculed and bashed for being who they are. A woman is criticized when she speaks her mind and also when she tries to defend herself from those who try to break her down.
For those that know me well, I don’t think it’s any surprise that I have a huge work ethic. I’m constantly the one doing something all of the time that I often have to admit to myself that I can be a bit of a workaholic. I’m always giving my 110% at work, at home, with my blogging life and often times it has led me to place myself last in regards to my health.
The constant need of trying to do everything all at once and stepping up to the plate when my help has been requested has resulted in people taking advantage of me. I hate to say it, but it’s true. I hate it.
There was a situation that recently occurred in which something required my attention. I made a decision that I knew I had to make in order to help someone else. Later, I was brought into a room and was told, “I’m disappointed. I know you can do better.”
It struck a chord, “I know you can do better.” For as long as I can remember, I’ve always done better. In fact, I have been doing better. So, why was I getting bashed over something that I knew was the right thing to do when I’ve been slaying on everything else, even working extra hard and extra long than needed?
It was then I realized that things had shifted. The supportive and empowering community was no longer supportive and empowering. I was exhausting myself in trying so hard to do everything that it only led to higher expectations and gave me no wiggle room to take a breather. It also made me realize more what my values were and exactly where I stood.
I walked out of the room feeling disappointed in the conversation and knew it wasn’t going to be the last time it would be brought up again. A few days later, I made my case and defended myself. My values took a hit and I needed to defend them, even if it meant laying it down to the higher ups.
I felt relieved and at peace knowing that I handled the situation as best as I could. It needed to be done and I would do it all over again. It was also a reminder that women will always be judged for what they do as much as what they don’t do.
Society will judge a woman for placing her family above her job, if she is single and has no children. Women will be judged if they are too opinionated, keep to themselves, and if they are also unmarried. As single women, what responsibilities could they possibly have that keeps them awake at night?
Women should decide their own path in life. Enough with shaming women for being authentic, who refuse to fit in a box and just want to have the right to make their own choices.
Women can be and do everything. We’re a hybrid-multitasking species. We never quit and we certainly won’t back down.
