“You will never get the truth out of a Narcissist. The closest you will ever come is a story that either makes them the victim or the hero, but never the villain.”
– Shannon L. Alder
Imagine having a conversation with someone and all of a sudden within a matter of seconds the discussion escalates to a disagreement and then an argument. After it has ended, you replay the entire moment in your mind and cannot believe a pleasant moment could have turned into a very unpleasant moment. The worse part? The one at fault didn’t take any accountability for their actions, and worse yet, victimized themselves by portraying the other as the villain.
I bet many of us have been in this situation more than once. I myself can honestly say that I have been in this situation numerous times. It’s probably one of the most frustrating things that really get to me, more so, since I’ve tried for the last few years to stay away from drama and anything/anyone that doesn’t bring value into my life. What really sucks the life out of ones life are those who bring negativity.
Being the Taurus that I am, we have a reputation of being very hard-headed and stubborn. Yes, I acknowledge this and sometimes it isn’t always a bad thing. A lot of my persistence has come about from these “faults” during moments in my life when I needed to find a gateway to get me through difficult/challenging times. More so, when people had to be proven wrong and/or had no support whatsoever. However, I also acknowledge the fact that I take accountability for when I’m wrong. It might not always happen at the exact and precise moment, but I have the tendency to sit down and analyze a situation. If I’m wrong, then I’m wrong. If I’m right, then it’s out of my hands.
One of the curses that tends to come with being a Taurus, is the mere fact of placing us as the villains of any situation because of our stubbornness. Yet, the other party never takes credit and we are the ones to take the blame for everything. Why? Sometimes we just get to a point in our lives where we don’t want to waste time on heated discussions. I, personally, don’t. Sometimes I’d rather walk away and could give a F*ck. It’s emotionally draining. However, we have our limits before the bull gets pushed and decides to charge through. Then we’re called “crazy” at that point. It’s never a win-win situation.
One of the most courageous (yes, courageous) actions an individual can do is to take accountability when they are wrong or a mistake has been made, and the bravery to admit it and apologize. An apology goes a long way and it’s interesting how the most simplest action can be the most difficult to do.
I, myself, will never say I am perfect in any way. Actually, I’m the most imperfect person there probably is. However, as years have gone by, I have learned that some battles are not worth converting into wars. Constantly playing the victim because one is too scared to be accountable can lead to distrust and broken relationships/friendships. Sometimes, it’s not always what is said, but what isn’t said. How many of us have wished that a loved one, a friend, or a family member would have just apologized? Almost all of us. Easy to forgive than to forget.
From a professional standpoint, if a mistake was made at work be accountable for it. Your coworkers and colleagues will end up respecting you more and you will gain their trust. Not taking any accountability will lead your team to think you’re not a team player. Posing yourself as the only person in your little island will end up creating a hostile environment. Mistakes are bound to be made, but nothing cracks a team than when one isn’t willing to step up and admit a mistake.
If something was said and you unintentionally (even intentionally) hurt someone, it be a partner, a friend, or a family member, take accountability and apologize. The relationship will only get stronger over time instead of weakening it. When the respect and trust is lost, all it ends up creating is distance and absent communication.
From a personal standpoint, if a mistake was made in your own personal life whether it was a risky decision, moved to a new place, chose the wrong partner, or a career change, learn from it and take accountability. This will only help you grow as an individual. Mistakes only make you wiser and smarter, and more when you acknowledge them as what they are.
Someone constantly victimizing themselves can only end up taking them so far before it becomes an old and even repetitive story that no one cares to read anymore. Constantly placing another as a villain isn’t the most healthiest reaction and only ends up damaging the relationship. Life is way too fragile to be wasting unnecessary time and energy towards nonsense. There is no worse feeling than to never have had the opportunity to say, I’m sorry.